Mental Illness Does Not Define You as a Parent

Mental Illness does not define you as a parent. 

Parenting through mental illness can be difficult. It can alter how we view ourselves as parents. In the darkest days, we think of ourselves failures, unworthy of loving, and providing for our children. It can become overwhelming with the chaos the pain, as it blinds our ability to see the truth. Above all, the truth that you are not a bad parent. 

You are not:

You were not a failure when there was no energy to grocery shop, and cereal is for dinner.

You were not weak when you sobbed in the shower over fears of wanting to run away.

You were not useless when crowds become overwhelming, and you’ve missed school functions.

Mental Illness Does Not Define You As A Parent

You were not unworthy when days went by before you replied to their text messages.

You were not inadequate when social media is bare of pictures of adventures.

You were not damaged when all the sounds around suffocate your mind, and you want to scream.

You were not horrible when each touch, tug, and pull of your body sends an irritating sensation all over.

Parenting through mental illness.

Mental illness strips away the ability to see the radiant power that you hold. It can take away the capacity to know the worth of your life and presence. Mental illness does not define you as a parent. You are more than the moments of suffering. You have continued to fight each day, to love yourself and your children. It is human nature to falter. As parents, we teach our children the importance of endurance: never to give up. Therefore, don’t give up on yourself. 

Remember what you are:

You are a force of endurance.

You are a beacon of possibilities

You are a temple of courage.

You are a collection of stories.

You are a moment worth holding.

You are a warrior of resurrection.

You are, most of all, worthy of unconditional love. Mental Illness Does Not Define You as a Parent

Please note that if you have a mental illness, and are having a hard time coping, please seek help. Click here for the Top HelpLine Resources.


43 Comments Add yours

  1. Anita Alig says:

    This is a fantastic and very important post, thank you for highlighting this and for your encouraging words!

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      Thank you for reading!

  2. Alyssa Ahern says:

    I feel like mental illness or not, this is a good read for all parents. I don’t have a mental illness but it was nice to read this.

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      Thank you for reading and your kind words.

  3. Love, Auntie says:

    I love that you wrote this, knowing parents will read this and be encouraged. AND know they aren’t alone, if they are suffering from anxiety. Awesome!

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      Thank you so much for your kind words!

  4. I love this post! Every parent should read it because it is important to know that you are not a failure. Too many times we expect perfection from ourselves and the voice in our head is mean when perfection is not achieved. Which that mean voice can be overwhelming, to say the least. One of my favorite quotes from a friend I always think of when I read these things is, “The sun is always shining. Sometimes it is just covered up by clouds.”

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      It’s completely overwhelming, and when you are in the depths of your dark moments, it’s so hard to see the light. I love that quote. Thank you for sharing!

  5. Kelly Martin says:

    This is a really important post for all parents to read. Very encouraging. I’m sure it will help lots of people.

  6. Alexandra says:

    This was really good. Especially when there are so many pins on Pinterest pointing out the trauma kids go through that have parent’s with a mental illness. I get what they have to do it but… was pretty guilt inducing I felt.

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      I think it’s essential for people to know that mental illness doesn’t mean that you are automatically a neglectful parent. Parenting is hard, and many mentally healthy parents can also damage their children.

  7. Jam Nesreen says:

    This is beautiful. I am not a parent but this relates to every person out there struggling with mental health.

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      Thank you for your kind words!

  8. This is such an important reminder- for parents or individuals. I don’t have a mental illness, but it’s such a good reminder

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      Thank you for reading!

  9. It’s very difficult to parent through mental illness. It is easy to feel like failures and not able to properly provide for our kids. It’s important to ask for help and do the best we can.

    1. Great thoughts really. It is very easy to get carried away when someone is suffering from any form of mental illness. It’s about believing in oneself and parenting like any other.

      1. Mother Fluff says:

        That’s so true.

  10. Joyce Osiango says:

    This is such a touching post, It is not easy to be a parent leave a lone mentally challenged parent. It can be hard but if one love their partner they will do whatever it takes to make parenting easier for the other.

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      It’s so important to life one another up. Thank you for the wise words.

  11. Olya Amanova says:

    Being a parent is very challenging and often involves self-blaming for many things even out of our control. Important to understand that there is no better father and mother for your child then you are. And if you do your best – that is the best that you can do.

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      I totally agree! Thank you for reading and sharing your wise words.

  12. Snehal says:

    This needs to be shared and discussed a lot! Thanks for writing on this issue! ☺

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      Thank you for reading!

  13. Sometimes, our opinion about other people’s opinions tend to drive us to a dark place we don’t wish to go. I have learnt that everything is 100% my responsibility and I will chose to live well for me and mine irrespective of what others think or say.
    Thank you so much for sharing this.

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      That’s so true. It’s so hard to not feel the pressure to be someone else or act a certain way. But, we need to be authentically us.

  14. mcushing7 says:

    Thank you for sharing this informative post as I believe it is so important to educate about mental illness. This is such a huge problem and it is only going to get worse unless we get rid of the negative views on this as so many people suffer from some sort of mental illness and they are amazing people.

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      The dialogue most definitely needs to shift into a more respectful and positive light. Most people with mental illness are afraid to open up with the fears of judgement.

  15. Smita says:

    Very encouraging and motivating – even for non-parents. Believing yourself worthy of unconditional love is the best kind of self-love and so essential to being happy!

  16. Lyosha Varezhkina says:

    it is such an important post! It is so open, so honest and so filled with thought. I can not relate it to myself but I do feel how important it is to read your post for people who can

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      Thank you for the kind words

  17. toastycritic says:

    Yeah I see my ex struggle with everything with it for sure. Its a hard thing but yes you do have to remember that you are not just your mental illness.

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      Absolutely. Thank you for reading.

  18. blancanvalbuena says:

    Mental illness is serious, and yet there is so much stigma around it. Mental illness does not make someone a bad or underperforming parent. It is so important to remember that. What a fantastic post.

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      Thank you for your kind words.

  19. angie says:

    I really needed this today! Over the past year I have been doing a ton of mental health work due to having Complex PTSD. Its a lot of work and sometimes I feel so bad for taking so much time to fix me. So thank you for this! I needed all these reminders!

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      I would like to say how incredibly proud I am of you for working on your mental health. It’s hard but worth it. That’s amazing! And, thank you for sharing your story!

  20. All parents should read this article. I think many people feel some sort of guilt when it comes to mental illness but i think it’s very common and people should be able to talk about this topic openly.

  21. Nita says:

    Thanks for these encouraging post. i would share these post with my friend. she’s struggling with it for a very long time. Thanks for sharing

    1. Mother Fluff says:

      I hope she finds some peace and she’s lucky to have you as a friend.

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