For the first time since my first miscarriage, which was 2 years ago, I feel alive. I was on the phone with my sister last night and I told her that for the first time it feels better to be awake then asleep. That one statement says it all. I want to be apart of the world instead of dreaming of alternate moments. I am happy to experience the down falls of the day, as well as, the every day moments of life. For the first time in years, I feel as though I have a control of my depression, not the other way around. I’m no longer mad at my children for their dependency of me. It isn’t their fault they need and want me. I am their mother: a burden that I no longer regret. I am proud of myself for picking up the pieces of my shattered life. Continue reading
Wow. It’s been awhile, huh?
I guess my mind needed a rest. Or, maybe, I didn’t have anything to write or felt as though I had nothing to write.
Life here has been no more hectic or drama filled than in the past. Life is always throwing curve balls. I had another miscarriage. My third. Again …
Tomorrow is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It’s a bittersweet cause that is striving for awareness: to help those to know that they aren’t alone. But, aren’t we?